In the greatest possible way, my wife and I are indebted to Christ.
God has been providing every single thing we need. We’ve been kept healthy, strong, capable, financially independent and, most recently, not dead from 4th-degree burns.
On the subject of debts, my Squishy Leper and I are doubling down on them, turning the frivolousness of enjoying life and its pleasant things into tangibly paying off the crap Proverbs 6:5-style that we shouldn’t have accrued to get the educational background we wouldn’t be using.
Pro Tip: It’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know. Your ability to fight serial killers isn’t as useful as pretending they don’t exist until they go away.
Just this morning I called the fire department about a non-figurative fire that was burning outside the property we inhabit. This was on the tail end of Banning’s literal firefighters literally putting out a literal fire, so they were probably literally exhausted. Nevertheless, they tirelessly put out a small fire to prevent it from becoming a large one. The feeling of having your name in the paper is nice; not seeing your home rapidly convert to heat energy is nicer.
Physics Tip: Since entropy guarantees all matter will become heat energy someday, pyromaniacs are simply doing us a favor #progressivethinking
Along with the blessing of staying alive, staying alive, our child has been a
tormenting crying ball of misery that we can’t fix wonderful lovable immaculate bundle of joy. My Kissy Woom Wooms has taken to the role of mother like a female bear to another bear she birthed, and has been learning valuable lessons in how to be content not rip her hair out.
Parenting Tip: Crying babies shouldn’t be dropped, thrown, kicked, suffocated, lynched, mugged, treated, touched or held. Anyone who tells you otherwise is obviously a communist.
In the midst of this
trial blessing I’m working steadily at my career. Supervising is a nice line of work, but has the mildly unfortunate downside of getting screamed at by random unhappy people because of a petty problem that is almost always never your fault. Being honorable and direct helps, but there are still some people out there that make it unsurprising who won the presidential primaries.
Breaking News: Donald Trump won the presidential election against Hillary Clinton. Since power is sexy, bad hair is now sexy.
In other news, the 3.5-month hiatus with my parents is finally wrapping up. I don’t know what will come next, but I foreshadow them dishing out plenty more bad boundaries drizzled with some freshly cut blame accompanied by a side salad of strange expectations with a dressing choice of bickering, invalidation or rejection and saving room for a dessert of shame.
Because I’ve had distance from them, it’s given me plenty of time to think. If we take away the insufferable noise that comes from the small person that keeps staring at us, I’ve had a net amount of some time to think. Since my Funky Spoiler has been listening to my ranting tirades of woe and teenful angst without expressing the inherently obvious reality that my head is broken, it’s given me the liberty to conclude things without consulting my shame first.
Therapy Tip: Simply telling someone to stop something won’t work. You have to make sure they hear you say it, then lovingly and mercilessly punish them in whatever way you can to disincentivize them from even thinking of doing it again.
In the dysfunctional roles of Hero/Mascot/SilentChild/Scapegoat, I have grown up in the confusing position of being both the Hero and the Scapegoat. Pulling double-duty in upholding other family expectations sucks giant lollipops, but to carry 2 roles does something deep inside you that makes grown men cry and asteroids land.
At any given moment, I was treated as the immaculate answer to the entire family unit’s problems or the unholy abomination doomed to travel this world bringing chaos and ruin wherever I went. Sometimes it was both.
Marriage will change you, and so will parenting; it won’t be in a good or bad way, you’ll just be different. Dysfunctional families, on the other hand, don’t want change. Change is both an uneasy risk and a grand adventure, and perspective is what drives that view.
Success Tip: If your friends say “don’t ever change”, then don’t change. That way you can always remember that you were justified in your bitterness that they asked for it while they out-succeed you.
On my Wobbly Toppers’ side, she still is hearing nothing from either of them. Apparently they’re so excited about how well we’re doing that they don’t want to disturb our happiness with their bitter approach. It’s rather thoughtful when you think about it (tear).
Nevertheless, life carries on, dumb family coming back around or no. It seems like the more we keep feeding the miniature person the bigger it gets. I imagine it’ll stop soon, but I’ve heard that it’ll keep growing for at least a few more months before it slows down growing.
Family Tip: Your family roots often go deep, which is why it’s good to axe the deep questions to sort it out.