Note: the following post involves very morbid themes including unemployment, family disagreements, cat poop and sewing. To protect the innocent, the names and places have not been changed. Viewer discretion isn’t advised.
My Snubbly Wuggles and I have seen the Lord work miraculously so far, and it seems like we’re in a small bit of downtime to permit Him to keep working.
As much as my bold and intrepid personality dislikes revisiting things that have already been visited, a colleague of a friend of a wife has given the opportunity to dive back into the numerically pleasant and systemically rigid world of accounting. Nothing guaranteed, but we’ll see how this new adventure goes.
Accounting Tip: People think accounting isn’t adventurous or glamorous, but those people have obviously never discovered the joyful exhilaration of an audit or the beautiful intricate sexiness of a well-run inventory management system.
Along with that aspiration, we continue to fight the ever-flowing onslaught of crap in two ways. The first comes from our black cat’s inability to digest food like a healthy organism and the second comes from the two weirdos that made my Yummer Bumpers into the brilliant and PTSD-ridden beautiful young woman she is today.
In all sincerity, they’re trying their best, given that they refuse to change themselves or their views about how undeniably horrible I am.
They’re trying, though. They were able to make it to our wedding venue for our wedding only 7 and a half months late! When my Fuzzy Boo Boo Bunny Splitters didn’t reply back within a few days, they felt so obligated to micro-love her that they visited my parents’ house to make a public embarrassment of themselves in the hopes that she would come to reason and finally divorce my miserable self.
Family Tip: Dumb family needs love too, but there’s no shame in delivering a bit of hard love in a nice inviting package of bluntness. Actually, there’s a LOT of shame, but that’s them giving it, hence the packaging.
One of the funny ironies of guilt trips is that using one sacrifices any position of power you were holding. Therefore, if you really want to keep any dominance in the conflict, you’re basically hoping that the other person has a soft spot in their
heart head that they can utilize.
They had commented on meeting that night, and upon discussion we figured we’d hustle and get this hanging to-do about their control issues out of the way. Unfortunately, we weren’t completely prepared for what happened next.
Writing Tip: All of a sudden, the unspeakable happened! From out of nowhere what everyone dreaded was more real than ever before, and nobody saw how it had happened. As the prepositions slowly subsided, they all saw that it was a really dumb way to pad the writing and make it feel more important than it actually was.
The two of them ran away. I left a very genuine and pleasantly confrontational voice message, and the two of them still haven’t responded. It’s a great way to wrap up a lame sitcom plot, but a lousy way to be people.
Anyway, that’s it for now, except that I’m also now trying out YouTube videos for fun. I made one here, and I’ll probably make more when I’m bored or not cleaning cat butt soup.